Today I thought I would share the origin of the name Inspire and Respond and where my interest in this work first took hold. A few years ago my husband Brad was part of the Reynolds Leadership Program for Clergy. He raved about his experience and would come back from his week retreats full of information. A good bit of that information was about himself. Reynolds gives you a plethora of assessments so that you can understand yourself better and how you relate to others. The next year I was able to attend the Reynolds program. When I returned home after my first week Brad and I were able to compare our personality and needs assessments. It was such an eye opening experience!
One of the most helpful assessments for us was the FIRO-B. It explained so much about our friendship, our marriage, why we meshed so well in certain areas and differed in others. I knew immediately I wanted to offer this assessment to couples. It is so important for us to know what our spouses need, but often not even our spouses have the language to accurately explain what they need. The FIRO-B changes that.
We began working on a marriage retreat where the FIRO-B would be one of the tools that we used. But we needed a name. Brad suggested Inspire and Respond. They actually come from a set of wedding vows that he had used before.
I take you to be my spouse/partner from this point forward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful spouse/partner, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond. This will be a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.
It felt perfect. What a great commitment to make to another person. What a great commitment to make to all of the people in our lives. Inspire and Respond has since become more than just focused on couples, but to all relationships. Will you inspire people? Will you respond to people?
The FIRO-B helped me not just to see my marriage in a different light, but also helped me to understand myself better as a leader, a co-worker, a teammate. For example, I began to understand why some folks got frustrated with me when I didn’t just make a decision. My interpersonal need for control was more oriented toward collaboration!
There are so many ways to use the knowledge you gain from the FIRO-B assessment. If you are frustrated with the quality of your interpersonal relationships, want to lead your team/church more effectively, or want to enrich your marriage I know this can help you achieve those goals.
If you have questions about how the FIRO-B can help you inspire and respond better to others. Please feel free to contact me. I would love to talk with you.